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EaglesMD.com - Tailgating on Another Level!

Welcome Home B.Dawk!!!

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The last regular season game of the 2009-2010 season brought us the return of Brian Dawkins...and a lot of Karaoke!

Dr. Cadaver was not present for this very important game/tailgate - he was off knocking up his wife with twins. I guess that's acceptable (Congrats btw!) So in his place we had our newest intern...the White-Ryan-Howard and his sis JHoww. (not to be confused with JWoww of Jersey Shore fame!). We did some of the usual - some pretty intense washer games, blah blah blah.

When we first pulled up...I had to drop a Duece Staley if you know what I mean. Like BAD! We drove around the forest like madmen. I jumped out of the truck when we parked and ran with my knees together to the other end of the parking lot to the only Porta-John within a mile. I checked for paper first. YES! I was good to go. Then I looked at the turlet. Someone had to take their kids to the pool WAY worse than I did. They apparently didn't have enough time to put the lid down. All they had time to do was to shit on the rim around the toilet opening. After I chocked back some vomit, I grabbed some paper and put the lid down...on top of the phantom duke. I then hovered over the top and did my business. I've had nightmares ever since. Sorry for the graphic story - I just thought it was funny.

A little while later...Mark and I grabbed the mic. I dedicated my selection to the return of Brian Dawkins. The song...Home, by Daughtry. We sang our hearts out. I watched the video the next morning...it actually wasn't too bad. We worked some Corel Buckhalter references into the song too, which was nice. I think we were on the mic rappin' the rest of the day. Good times!

Dave Chappelle then walked out of the lake, took a drink of Captain, ate a few of our Christmas cookies, and then walked on. It was so random.

The-White-Ryan-Howard brought us a new kimbo stick. It was a wooden spindle from a deck railing with a nail sticking out of one end. We didn't use it on on anyone...yet.

We somehow made it into the game. The Dawk intro was awesome! The game was even better! Setting up a HUGE game this week against the cowgirls. 2nd seed and a bye-week...or a road wild-card game. A lot is on the line! I love it!!! See you in the playoffs people!

 


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We're basically back...

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Our last tailgate before the Redskins game was pretty money. We had a handful of visitors stop by (welcome back Marty, J, and the White Ryan Howard!) - and they all brought some new friends. We introduced them to classic EaglesMD traditions such as washers, beer pong, fireworks, "Show me your Genitals", burning things with gasoline (YES, it's back!), the Apache, Sambuca and so much more...

Seriously - we killed a bottle of Sambuca by about 9:30am.

We made some KILLER Bobbies. If you don't know what a Bobbie is - get your ass down to a Capriottis sub shop. It's turkey, cran, stuffing and mayo on a roll. We had all of those fresh ingredients - and then added slices of provolone and some Diiirty Riiice. (check out that recipe on our Recipes page!!!). Those sambo's were the shit. The White Ryan Howard treated us to some buffalo Shrimps too. I will have you know that this was the 2nd party this year that I've eaten several shrimp - still in their shells - and not known about it until the next day. I guess it was all the 'buca.

So we're rockin' out to Party in the USA or something and our new boy Jay comes over. Jay is our contact at the "Octo-bong" tailgate. The Octo-bong is an 8-chambered beer bong that is hung by an elaborate series of pulley's in a tree. I did 2. I think. Both times...about a 12-pack of beer is dumped in the bong. Maybe more. The Octo-bong is then raised a little and the 8 participants chug away. I believe the rule is - when the first person is done - the Octo-bong is raised and bounced around as the Pulley-master yells out "UPPER DARBY SHOWER...UPPER DARBY SHOWER" - as beer rains down on those unfortunate enough not to chug quickly. If you can't tell by my description - it's pretty fucking great. These guys also have some wheel attached to a tree with things written on it. I'll have more deets on that treat after the next tailgate.

Anyway - we are joining forces with Jay and the Octo-bong-ites next game. Together, we will rule the forest with an iron fist! Can't wait!


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SNF Meltdown vs. Cowgirls

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Same old story...another great tailgate, followed by a let-down game. C'mon Birds!!!

We were 2 docs short this week! For the Cowboys? An 8pm game? What the hell is going on!!! Don't worry. We still represented EaglesMD in the Forest. We made a few new friends. The music got a little louder. The fireworks got a little bigger. Soon, we'll have a full D3 tailgate again!!!

There was an interesting problem with the Sambuca this week. The top wouldn't come off the bottle. It just kept spinning. I grabbed a knife and pried the lid off...only to find...a second top! What the hell?!?!?! It was bizarre. (We got the 2nd top off and polished off the bottle...don't worry!)

There was a crazy, homeless man taking a nap in a car next to us. He wore a cowboy hat and had on some old-school blue-blockers. He did have some sweet beads hanging from the rear-view mirror. So I went up to be-friend the dude and try to trade beads...instead, I got a 30 minute story about where each of the beads came from. Also...the few teeth he had were black. I lost out on that deal.

Nothing else too crazy this week though. We played some games, we salted some losers. A couple of friends from B-more made the trip and got to sample some Riot Punch! (Thanks Tim!) I cooked up some pretty money Hawaiian Burgers and then we burned the hell out of some crab dip. Oh well. Best food of the day by far was some fresh Polish Sausage on the grill right before we went in to the game. Hit the spot fo sho!

I checked the video the next morning and my favorite line of the day..."You're drinking more Riot Punch? You SLUT!"


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'ill State of Mind!

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We had ourselves quite a Philly Phun-day this past Sunday! Philly vs. NY. Good guys vs. Bad guys. Eagles vs. Giants. Phils vs. Yankees. Passionate Fans vs. Douche-bag Idiots. Gotta love it!

We got to the Forest (our new name for FDR park...where we have been banished to!) around 8am. We set up the full tailgate this time. Big-ass speakers, DJ equipment, HD LCD TV, PS3, Beer Pong, Washers, Cornhole - EaglesMD was back! Well...sort of. 

The "Jersey Guys" came to the forest to tailgate with us. We really appreciated it! The forest isn't exactly close...to anything...except a few flocks of geese. We had some money Buffalo Chicken Dip (and SHITTY chips...thanks DANIELLE!). And some pepperoni roll...for breakfast.

For the 2nd week in a row, a game of washers ended with a washer landing on the edge of the board, ending the game immediately. WTF! So again, Tim and I were salted. We took our punishment like men. Running and screaming as the salt burned our eyes and flesh. There was a 2nd game of washers...and a second salting of Tim and Brian. We used to be so dominate. The forest has zapped us of our skills. We even lost at cornhole! I NEED TO SALT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!

Mark tried out a new recipe. It was Balls-Out! Pork Calzones! Marinated Pork Chops...stuffed with ham, provolone, peperoni, and a pickle. It doesn't get better than that...trust me! I'll get the recipe up on the website soon.

Then came one of the greatest demolitions of the NY Football Giants that I can remember. Yelling at the top of my lungs at Giants/Yankee fans at the Linc was never so fun! Way to go Birds!

Coming back to the tailgate...someone near us set off some fireworks. Weak Sauce! We let go 3-4 huge mortars! Scared the piss out of everyone around us! They said "whoa guys...they'd probably look better at night." My response was "Don't worry...we have plenty!" Slowly getting back to normal!

We were on such a high after the game, Mark and I got online in the van and bought World Series Tix from StubHub. Tim and Mike partied in the forest and watched the 4pm games and WS...while Mark and I hunted down a printer at the Will-Call window at Citizens Bank. It sux that the Phils couldn't duplicate the excitement of the Birds from a few hours earlier...but it was a day to remember fo sho! (side note: The Roast Pork sandwich with Broccoli Rabe from Tony Lukes is bomb-ass P!)

All-in-all - a GREAT day in Philly...as usual! Bring on the Cowgirls...NFC East is OURS! (pics from the Eagles and Phils game should be up before the weekend!)


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You won the battle, douche bag.

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Well...the day has come. EaglesMD has been removed from D3 - and all lots run by the little bastards in yellow coats. Those guys are actually all pretty cool. The only real problem was the little prick known as "The douche bag on the golf cart." You know who we're talking about. I hope to God that he's reading this too. What a dick he is. I guess when you turn 60 years old and the highlight of your life is driving around a parking lot picking up trash and yelling at people who had more going on from 6am-7am then you had in the last 30 years of your life....

 Anyway. Back to the story. So we set up our glorious tailgate. It took about an hour. We had just poured the first beers and got the tunes playing. The Golf Cart Douche Bag (GCDB) is ridin' dirty. He pulls up and walks around our setup. "Take it down - you guys are through. You burned a tent last week and we've had tons of complaints about your porno music and fireworks. And I think one of you got my wife pregnant." (I'm kidding about that last part...there's no way anyone would marry that ass clown.) "I'm gonna get some cops and come back because I'm a fucking pussy." (I'm dead serious...that's exactly what he said.)

So the GCDB rolls up 3 minutes later with 2 of Philly's finest. (They were cool as hell by the way.) He says "you guys probably don't even have season tickets." Nice try dick-licker. We say "No, we don't." We ask for proof of complaints. He has none. (much like brains, or man-hood). He says give me your names and email addresses and I'll have some ass from the Eagles get in touch with you about the complaints. Again, nice try. I mean...we hit each other with sticks and drink until we can't see every Sunday...but we aren't idiots! So he eventually leaves and we hang with the cops while we pack up. One of the officers said "Man, I feel bad - it seems like you guys were the life of the party over here." People were coming from all around asking what was going on and wondering what they were going to do now that EaglesMD was gone. One dude grabbed the cops gun and blew his brains out. People were devastated. (about us leaving, not the dead guy.)

So we hit the road. We go to the other side of Philly. Pull into a lot. Ask the attendant if this lot is a "Wachovia Lot"- he says NOPE! We drive around and find a potential new home. Before we can put it in park, 3 lot attendants pull in behind us and tap on the window. "Not you guys...not here." We said "why?" They said they have meetings about us every week. I said we weren't even here for the last tailgate. He said "I KNOW! We had a meeting about it!" Get a fucking life pal! Outside of a few cracked ribs - nobody has ever been hurt at an EaglesMD tailgate. 

So we leave lot #2 and head to the park across from the Wachovia Center. We find a spot. Not too crowded. The first thing we hear when we get out is fucking geese. GEESE! We look around and I spot a squirrel. 10 minutes later Mike sees a wolf walking out from behind a tree. Where the fuck are we? I want to tailgate, not go on safari! So we pour some boxed wine into a can and play some washers. After a game or two, we set up one of the speakers and play some tunes. We salt the losers. Nobody likes salting another human being...but we do it anyway.

A dad comes over with about an hour to go with one of his kids. "Hey...nice set-up!"

And so it begins.

EaglesMD will live again. You've won the battle Golf-Cart-Douche-Bag...the war rages on. We will rebuild. We will be stronger, and wiser. You will get older...and dumber...and your dick will probably get smaller. (Can you tell we hate this mother fucker?)

Anyway, if you've enjoyed this little story, tell me about it in the comments. Give us some suggestions for a new spot to party. One that's not controlled by Nazi. Give us some real-estate and we'll show you the best time of your life! Ain't no party like an EaglesMD party. Until next time...


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